Ellen Byman, licensed psychologist and sexologist
When was the last time you took a moment just for yourself to focus on what you genuinely enjoy? As the year changes, many people turn their attention to resolutions, goals, and self-improvement. Does that sound familiar? If so, I invite you to pause for a moment and try this simple sensations exercise as a way to bring some balance.
We experience the world through our senses. By intentionally focusing on pleasurable sensations, we can enhance our quality of life. In this exercise, I invite you to reflect on the sensations that you personally enjoy at this moment.
Start by drawing a flower with as many petals as the number of senses you want to include, for example five petals for sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. Write one sense in each petal. Then, take a moment with each petal to reflect on sensations you enjoy connected to that sense. Is it the sound of laughter or the crackling of a fire? The smell of coffee, fresh linen, or perhaps a scent that brings back a happy memory? What is your favorite flavour right now, or maybe a food or drink you’re craving? It could be the touch of a loved one, a pet, or the comforting feeling of stepping into a warm shower. When it comes to sight, what do you find beautiful, interesting, aesthetically pleasing, or inviting to look at? Write down the pleasure sensations in the petal connected to the sense in question.
Once you’ve completed the exercise, reflect on this question: how could you increase the number of small, pleasurable sensations in your daily life? Perhaps you already experience many of them, but you’re not intentionally noticing them, and as a result, you’re missing out. If winter is already starting to feel long and you’re longing for spring, you might take a moment to think about which sensations feel like spring to you, so you can be more aware of them when they begin to appear.
As a newly graduated sexologist, I, of course, have to mention that this exercise can also be very beneficial in a sexual context. When was the last time you reflected on what sensations you find pleasurable in a sexual context? Do you feel mindful of all the different sensations you enjoy in a sexual context? What are they? And if not, how might you begin to explore them?
This pleasure sensations exercise is rooted in the field of sexology. Sexology is the scientific study of human sexuality, including development, function, and behaviour. Working with a professional in this field can support you in, for example, increasing pleasure and self-understanding.